He walks into the room 
He's got a briefcase like a bomb 
A smile on both faces 
And he calls it aplomb 

He wants a bite of your apple 
Hands you back the peel 
He's fresh out of law school 
He's got a license to steal 

When he offers his advice 
You can guarantee 
For several hundred dollars an hour 
He will see just how many complications 
Your life will reveal 
He's fresh out of law school 
He's got a license to steal 

He's an ambulance chaser 
A waver of papers 
He loves to mix with the movers and shakers 
He's taking from them 
He's taking from you 
Lawyers love money 
Anybody's will do 
Just take it 

He's poking his nose into people's despair 
When tragedy strikes he will always be there 
Looking so cool 
His greed is hard to conceal 
He's fresh out of law school 
You gave him a license to steal 

We've got seven hundred thousand attorneys at law 
Nobody can tell me what we need them all for 
We should throw them in chains 
Chastise them and rebuke them 
If it doesn't work 
We ought to take 'em out and nuke 'em 

Blow a lawyer to pieces 
It's the obvious way 
Don't wait for a thesis 
Do it today 
Take him to the court of no final appeal 
When you're fresh out of lawyers 
You don't know how good it's gonna feel